To Let Go
by the shadow proves the sunshine
Summary: A collection of drabbles centered around the theme of each character’s final moment.
1. Chapter 1

To Let Go

Summary: A collection of drabbles centered around the theme of each character's final moment.

Author's Note: Part of lyrical challenge, inspired by the lyric _"I try to hold on to the world with everything I have_". These drabbles will explore the final moments of several Narnia characters, not just the main ones.

To Let Go, or _Ante Mortem(before death)_

**Part One**

_Lucy_

In an instant, I see beautiful flashes of green hills and wild waters and I know I'm seeing the place I love so dearly- Narnia. It seems so real I think I can touch it. I stretch my hand out, willing it to make contact with something real, but before my hand extends fully the scene changes. I see rows of houses, their tops reflecting the sunlight, and cracked sidewalks and loud noises and I feel as if I'm standing on an England street. I catch a glimpse of a golden eye looking at me and I know it's Him. Memories still racing in front of me, I see the professor's grand mansion and the lovely yard he had and the wardrobe, that wardrobe that stands for so much in my mind.

And then everything stops, and suddenly I'm jarred forward from what I subconsciously know is my seat in the train, but it doesn't feel so, I don't feel I'm in a compartment, I feel as if I'm outdoors, able to run free.

And everything stops. And I glance around, and I see my brothers to my right and the Professor and Aunt Polly to my left, and ahead I see Aslan, and I know.

I am home.


	2. Chapter 2

To Let Go

**Part Two**

_Alberta Scrubb_

I am alone. My husband and only son have taken the final journey already, I am alone. And for once, I envy them. How quickly a death by train must be! How peaceful would it be to die in my sleep! But that is not my lot in this life, for now I struggle to draw each breath, knowing that slowly I will suffocate to death.

My life passes leisurely before me, not at all in the blink of an eye as I have been promised. I watch the moments of my childhood; I remember how I hated that "Scrubb" boy at the age of thirteen, only to fall in love with him five years later.

I remember how his family had very new and up-coming ideas, and wanting a change of pace, I eagerly took them on, trading my family's old-fashion values for the Scrubbs' way of life. When Eustace was born, it seemed only right to pass them to him.

But something went horribly wrong with my plan. Eustace didn't turn out like Harold or myself at all. He turned out, more than anything, like my sister's children. Oh, how I resented that for so long!

But as I lay dying, I realize that maybe, just maybe, they were on to something. The surviving one, Susan, told me about that . . . that place. And the lion.

I hadn't laughed at her, as I might once have, but I still never believed her.

But now, lying on my death bed, I'm not so sure.

I think I catch a glimpse of gold.

_This is it_, I think, _This is true. _

And with my dying breath, I believe.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

_Susan_

Pinks, reds, and oranges swirl around my eyes. I strain to see out the window from my hospital bed, and suddenly, I simply know I must go outdoors. I must.

I rise from the hospital bed, my feeble feet taking me where I want to go rather slowly. It took me years to get use to being old, and I still remember what it felt to be thirty, or even forty, and I look back on those days with envy.

To my surprise, I make it to the hospital garden without getting caught. But perhaps it isn't so surprising; the nurses are busy, after all, and they and the doctors focus their attention on those that still cling to the possibility of life.

I hold nothing of the sort myself. Now in the garden, I take in the brilliant display of power from the setting sun. The yellows and oranges are almost too bright for my eyes, but I make no move to give myself comfort. How I love sunsets.

And I know, deep in my heart, this is my last one. I have come to say good-bye to the things of the earth; to the sun and the sea; the stars, those beacons of hope on dark nights; the daisies and roses and lilies of the gardens. They will soon be no more to me. I have come, to the hospital garden, to let go.

I must let go.

But it is so very hard to part with all that has given me joy for so long. The only things of comfort in my life.

But I look at the golden sunset, and the golden petals of daisies, and suddenly gold seems to surround me even as I feel myself fading fast and I realize that it is truly time to let go.

_Let go,_ whispers the voice in my head.

And I do so.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four**

_Professor Kirke_

Two minutes before it happened, I instinctively knew.

The train started picking up speed, faster and faster, until I knew it wouldn't stop. I took a deep breath, breathing in the world's air for one final time.

I moved slowly, stiffly, my joints aching once more. I tried to block the window as much as I could. This was something that the rest of them didn't need to see. I knew they could handle it- indeed, they would, as they had no other choice. But I approached death like I had all other things- rationally. There was no point for them to endure any more than was necessary.

"Look away, Polly," I whispered. She gave me a curious expression, but obeyed.

Suddenly there was a dreadful lurch, and I knew what had happened.

The world went black.

Then white.

Then every shade of color imaginable.

And what I opened my eyes to was better than anything I had ever seen before.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Five**

_Peter_

I glanced over at Edmund. The expression on his face was a mixture of contemplation and torture, and I knew he was feeling the weight of the rings he was carrying in his pocket.

"Ed?" I ventured, hoping to draw my brother's mind elsewhere.

He looked up and planted a pathetic smile on his face, on that didn't reach his eyes. I sensed he could see my worry and he stood a little straighter. That was Edmund-never wanting to give me cause to worry. Funny how often he did.

He stared at the railway. Suddenly, I heard the usual noise of a train. Craning his neck out, Edmund let out a small gasp.

"It's going awfully-"

But he never got a chance to finish his sentence.

As my world turned, quite literally, upside down, my only thought was for my brother and sister.

Perhaps it was Aslan's grace that didn't allow me time to worry. I felt the worst pain ever, a crushing weight all over me, and then. . . nothing, but only for a minute.

When I woke, I saw Lucy's laugh and Edmund's smile, and I had never felt so content before.


	6. Chapter 6

To Let Go

**Part Six**

_Eustace _

It was a dreadful jerk. That was all. An intense, frightening, terrifying roar; a sudden stop and pull; and a few distant cries. Before I knew it, I was dead.

I died on a Tuesday, around 1 P.M., surrounded by the only people who ever accepted me for myself. In that very last second, an instinct in me rose. I had never felt very brave before, even when I had done brave things, but in that instant I did. I wanted to shield all. I wanted to give whatever I could to protect what I could. My arms flew around Jill, and I turned my back facing Lucy, hoping my body would soften the blow on her own.

And in that very last instant, I realized my attempts had been in vain.

And then I realized they hadn't.

I had taken the final step.

I am here, in Aslan's country.

I am where I belong.


	7. Chapter 7

To Let Go

**Part Seven**

_Polly_

It is a very strange feeling, to let go of the only thing you've ever known. It' the feeling one gets when one moves into a new house, almost. It makes your head spin and your toes tingle and it's not a bad thing; not at all, but still so very strange.

It's how I felt after Digory told me to look away. I knew then the moments would be my last. I looked around- surrounded by Digory, my closest friend, and sweet, sweet Lucy; Jill, who reminds me so much of myself, and Eustace, a living testament to what love can do. And I'm not related to any of them by blood, but I look at each of the young ones, and I feel such strong attachment to them they might as well be my family. We share secrets and memories, joys and tears.

And it's not so hard to let go, after all, surrounded by all that. Journeying together, friends of Narnia.


	8. Chapter 8

**Part Eight**

_Edmund _

The weight was heavy. The green and gold rings in my pocket called out to me, their tempting song singing softly, but that was not the hardest burdened I carried. Narnia was in danger- how could it not be? A strange Narnian had appeared to us at dinner a week ago, and I knew enough of the universe to know that could not happen without Aslan's doing. We had always been called to Narnia when times were hard, but we had always been summoned there. For Narnia to come to us. . . I didn't want to think of what that entailed.

"Ed?" I heard Peter's voice break through the fog in my head. I gave a small smile, trying to put on a strong face, though I knew he would see right through my thin disguise. His warm eyes tried to give me comfort, but I knew he felt the weight of the world at the moment as well.

I heard a whistle in the distance and turned to look at the approaching train. It was pulling in at a quick pace- much too quick.

"It's going awfully-"

I never, in eternity, finished that sentence.

I heard a thousand voices from my past- parents, Peter, Susan, Lucy, schoolmates, a Witch, Aslan, Caspian, a chorus of Animals, Tumnus, and Reepicheep. Two worlds collided together at record-breaking speed, and as they reached each other, I opened my eyes to the collision of my life.

I knew where I was at once. _Home. _


	9. Chapter 9

**Part Nine**

_Rilian_

_Breathe In. Breathe Out. _I almost have to tell my heart to keep beating and my lungs to keep inflating. The time is so very close now. I feel it down to the core of who I am. I am not afraid, but the suffering is hard to endure. I envy those who have died in battle- what a quick way to go that must be! However, that is not the lot I was given.

My wife having gone on before me, my sons have taken to rotating shifts in order to watch over me. I can tell their love for me very much, but I also understand their pain. For while my brain is working fine even in my last moments, my mouth is not, and I can no longer respond.

It has been a long time since I was held captive by anything, and I had forgotten what it felt like to not fully be oneself. However, the feeling has returned.

For the first time in a long time, I find myself wandering back to my past. I have come to terms with most of it over a lifetime, and I have led a good life and a good kingdom. Yet, there is a small part of me that feels guilty for losing so much time in the clutches of evil.

The thought of my past makes me want to sigh, but even for that my muscles cannot cooperate. I cannot stand this any longer. It is time- time for me to go home, to be with my father and wife. One day my sons will follow, and I am certain I will see that again.

And with those certainties, it's not very hard to let go.


	10. Chapter 10

**Part Ten**

_Jill_

I was in the middle of a conversation with Lucy when I heard a loud roar and saw Eustace lunge forward toward me. Within seconds, the scenery of England had faded into Narnia.

I asked Eustace about it, but he couldn't answer my question. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, the entire time we talked to Tirian I had a strange feeling in my stomach that never left. A suspicion about how exactly that train faded into Narnia. And when I went on about growing old and dying, it was only because I knew I wouldn't.

When Aslan had told me there had been a train crash, I was the only one not surprised.

Instead, I was surprised by the feeling of joy that washed over me.

Death was more like life than life itself had been.


End file.
